Karlta Zarley: Certified Healing Touch Practitioner

210 Little Lake Drive, Suite 7
Ann Arbor, MI 48103
734.761.5908
karlta@karltazarley.com



Storm clouds in Sedona

Previous 2019 Newsletters


The newsletters below are listed beginning with the most recent.

To print a newsletter for any given month, click on the printer icon at the end of the newsletter.


Karlta Zarley - September Newsletter
Volume 16; Number 10
September 11, 2019

HOW WILL WE MAKE THE TRANSITION FROM OLD TO NEW PARADIGMS?


Dear Ones—When I was working with Spirit recently, I was shown something that I thought was very profound and explains so very much. Spirit showed me that from their perspective, generations are about 50 years long rather than the 25 years that our society generally defines them as being. And they showed me that for the purposes of this teaching, the generations are defined as being born in about the years 1930-1980, 1980-2030, and 2030-2080. Let's call these Generations “A”, “B” and “C” respectively so that we are on the same page for this tutorial from Spirit.

Before the “A” Generation began being born (this is worldwide mind you), those beings could see that their generation would have to act as a bridge to the “B” Generation and beyond in terms of societal change in order to move fairly rapidly (compared to the usual course of societal evolution) from the old paradigm to the New Paradigm. They could see that this shift would involve every aspect of every institution, business, expectation, belief, and personal understanding for every single person on the entire planet, and indeed we have begun to see this happen on a worldwide scale. The “A's” agreed to be the bridge to make that as seamless as possible AND to set up things for a rapid flip of societal norms from the “old” to the “New” by not only having their personal missions (what one incarnates to learn for yourself and your own spiritual growth), and their public missions (what one incarnates to give to the world as one's “gift of the heart”), but also a “societal mission”: which is cooperation across the entire planet within a very large group (generation) for the betterment of the world.

Those “A's” who would incarnate as women would have a hand in providing for the next generation which would be genetically different and would set up the profound changes to come. This means that those in Generation “B” are the ones coming in that are Neurosensitive and/or on the Autistic Spectrum (which for this I will lump together as Neurosensitive and abbreviate as NS). Whether the “B's” actually are NS and “qualify” for a designation of being on that spectrum or not, they have varying abilities, sensitivities and understandings (or what the current popular culture calls “superpowers”) that are part of this. “B's” approach life from the upper chakras (chakras 4-7) rather than the lower chakras (chakras 1-4); have poor to no boundaries; are not motivated by many of the usual motivators for earlier generations; and feel compelled, sometimes from a very early age, to altruistically do something about those needs. However, sometimes they are not well-aligned with what has come before (both in terms of people and energies on the planet) and sometimes this can cause sensitivities and anxieties to things.

Back to Generation “A”: those incarnating as female will have some hand in bringing “B's” and their energies forward, whether they a) give birth to the children who are NS, or b) they teach them, c) teach about them, d) work with them as healers, e) bring more understanding to the world about them, f) support those around them as they work more directly with this generation, or even g) appear to be oblivious to and discounting of the very existence of NS's. This apparent opposition to the existence of “B's” only brings more awareness to those circles that haven't yet been exposed to the reality of this. All of these “A” positions (and more) are involved in this part of the societal mission. Of course within this entire group, the spectrum of involvement is very wide and may be conscious or unconscious.

Those “A's” that incarnated as male chose as a group to take a particular, one-time, genetic mutation that would make it appear that they are more rigid or cautious than the females. They may be described by some of their partners as “more dense” or skeptical. They may even look to some as being obstructive of moving towards positive societal change. Of course within this group, there is wide variation on how this manifests too. However, the purpose is to slow down the process of looking at all aspects of life and making any changes necessary, in order to make the process of “pan-change” or change across everything more emotionally and societally manageable, so that the women of Generation “A” and children of Generation “B” won't dig in their heels in fear and stop this rapid change altogether.

The “B's” will be setting up the foundation for rapid, extensive and deep change by first aligning their energies with the relatively uncomfortable energies they have encountered once they were born, which is why those most affected need assistance from parents, teachers and healers to learn how to align their energies with what is on Earth (while the Earth gridwork frequencies and societal attitudes are in the process of change). And they will learn things like when and how to have boundaries, and how to recognize when we as a worldwide community are truly at a place where we really no longer need boundaries.

Generation “C” (from 2030-2080) will be the generation that finally enacts the final important, all-encompassing “flip” from old to New Paradigm. Many “A's” (and those from before) can see glimpses of that New Paradigm now, which either motivates them to move forward, or scares them enough to drastically resist. That is what the “A's” and “B's” are addressing. In the meantime, new ways of seeing the world come forward (e.g. the “Me Too” movement or changes in parenting techniques), new business models and interpersonal communications come to the fore (e.g. cooperation rather than competition, and Nonviolent Communication classes), and new appreciations are realized for the impact of our every thought, attitude and expectation on our ability to create, heal, and even enjoy life.

I don't know about you, but I find this very reassuring and more organized than the way it sometimes feels, and when I feel unsure or anxious about what I see and See around me, I will remember this and take heart.

Namaste'

© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved.

To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q
Karlta Zarley - August Newsletter #2
Volume 16; Number 9
August 25, 2019


WHAT THE BLEEP IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?T


Dear Ones—More and more people are noticing the increased level of chaos around them, both personally and societally. If it doesn't affect you personally, I would venture to say that those around you are in more chaos than usual. These are the big kinds of things...losing jobs, new addictions, forced moves, health crises, etc.

While I know that this is very uncomfortable for all concerned, I urge you to remember that this is evidence that we are finally at the critical mass point or the tipping point where there is enough momentum to raise frequency enough to dislodge old patterns. This is why it is easier to create what you do want at this time!

Energetically, the old is falling away where it is no longer serving. The New hasn't yet been fully envisioned and created, and what has been created in the energetic realms isn't always fully drawn into the 3D realm. That is why things feel so chaotic—the gridwork that we are used to having to keep things steady is falling away in great chunks, even as the new Gridwork is being constructed as fast as possible. And yet for all the craziness this creates in our lives, I urge you to remember that there is indeed pattern in chaos.

Even our scientists have shown this to be true. What is usually the case, though, is that it is hard to see the patterns in chaos because a) we can't get far enough away from what is happening to actually see the pattern, and b) when we are in the middle of the chaos, it is an emotionally unsettling time that draws all our attention away from the bigger picture to what is immediately in front of us to cope with physically, emotionally, spiritually and energetically. There isn't much bandwidth left over for processing the bigger bigger bigger picture needed in order to see the pattern in the chaos.

As we walk through this, I encourage you to slow down, do one thing at a time, use your time wisely, schedule more rest and recreation time, and find and do anything that serves as a daily spiritual practice for you—communing with nature; regular, rhythmic exercise; prayer or meditation; journaling; reading spiritual texts; participating in any of the arts that lift up your heart (like singing or dancing); chanting; etc. I also encourage you to be kinder and more patient with yourselves and with others. You aren't the only one feeling these changes.

And most importantly, stay focused only on what you DO want to create in the world for yourself and for the planet!


Namaste'

© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved.



To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q
Karlta Zarley - August Newsletter
Volume 16; Number 8
August 4, 2019


WE GOT THROUGH THE ECLIPSES, NOW WHAT DO WE DO?


Dear Ones—Having recently finished the cycle of new moon with total eclipse of the sun, and then full moon with lunar eclipse, and then a second new moon in the same month (on 7/31), and a cycle of Mercury retrograde, that time of strong energies to help us made decisions about what we want to intend, and then the time to focus on it while we create it in the ethers (moon and eclipse stuff) and the over-arching scrambledness of communications and words that we wrap around our experiences, feelings, projects and situations, is now coming to an end, and the cosmic opportunity to actually create the changes we need (whether we want them or not) steps forward. Sometimes this looks like getting blind-sided by something you didn't even know was coming. Other times it is something that you may want in theory, but getting there is another matter. Sometimes it is something that you actually yearn and plan for with intention, and other times what is happening doesn't seem to fit what you were wanting. But it could be the very thing you need even if it looks very different from what you thought it would!

One of my clients wants to have a workplace that is cohesive, mutually uplifting and values the input of all with decent pay, but now finds that she may have to either quit or be fired to get out of that situation in order to get the end result she is wanting. Another knows what his new mission is and sees it as absolutely worth doing and stepping into, but finds it hard because stepping outside his comfort zone to do it brings up all kinds of issues that he didn't want to have to look at... Where are you in this process?

The best thing you can do right now is to stay out of judgment about how the Universe brings opportunities to you and find the sometimes almost-too-small-to-see ways that you can do what you can towards a new end, even if the bulk of the movement is scary, overwhelming or even totally invisible to you at the moment. For example, if you know you need to move but that is totally more than you can even think about, take a very small piece of it that you can face: perhaps looking at open houses just to see what's out there for how much, or maybe it is socking away every bit of extra cash, no matter how small, so that you have a better down payment when it's time for the next step. Whatever those very small steps are, they help to release some of the pressure of the pent-up energy that happens when we procrastinate or deny or just ignore what is so obvious that we need to do. Even the tiniest release of
energy takes the pressure off (just like a controlled water release at a dam when the water is very high), so that once the energy is moving a little, it is easier to go with the flow as the next step comes up for review and action. The more you can do voluntarily, the easier the changes can be when it is time to make them, even if you don't have a lot of choice about when they happen to you.

Change is the only constant in our lives. It prevents boredom and keeps us from feeling stuck in our lives. The more we can embrace it, the more we can step towards instant manifestation and “all time is now.” Practice it. Set up and use your support networks. Stay focused on what you do want. Participate in your life by being proactive in your actions. This is a GREAT time to make the changes that we have so longed for our whole lives!


Namaste'

© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved.



To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q
Karlta Zarley - July Newsletter
Volume 16; Number 7
July 15, 2019


HERE COMES THE MOON AND THE LUNAR ECLIPSE!


Dear Ones—In a couple of days the second eclipse of the pair will happen in conjunction with the full moon on July 16th right around 5:38 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time. If you are reading this after that time, you can still do this and set your intention for the energy of it to go back to that time. (Don't worry that you “don't know how to do that!” You can visualize a calendar and clock in your mind's eye set to that date and time, or better yet just set your intention!)

So remember last newsletter we urged you to write down what you wanted to manifest so that you would have something tangible for the first of the two eclipses? That started this process. Even if you didn't see that newsletter or write anything down, you can still take time to intend what you want to create in the world: inner peace for All Beings on earth, shared connection between all sentient beings, all sorts of abundance (time, health, ease, money, friends, meaningful work, safety, etc.) for All. Then send that intention back to July 2nd New Moon and total eclipse of the sun to get it started. (Remember, there is no time, so there is no reason you can't participate in this!!!)

So now we are in a Full Moon with a Lunar Eclipse in a water sign, Cancer. That means lots of movement, flow, emotion, potential...as these next few days go by, please remember to stay in flow, observe emotional situations, allow for forgiveness and healing to come in and release all the stuck places in your life. This is a time of tremendous healing and rejuvenation, so take advantage of it.

Please also remember this when you look at the world around you and all the events that are going on in government, politics, societies and institutions: THINGS ARE NOT “GETTING WORSE!” There is a massive influx in the quality and quantity of Light that is coming into the planet, whether you see it or not. As that happens, all the places of stuckness, fear, darkness, lack of integrity, grasping, anger, power-trips, etc. must evolve to be able to move forward into all that Light. To do that, the old narrow, dark, stuck, difficult areas start to vibrate with the frequency of the higher energies. If they can't keep up and transform themselves, then they must be shaken off. WHAT LOOKS LIKE “THINGS GETTING WORSE” IS REALLY THESE THINGS GETTING SHAKEN OFF.

The more you look at them with fear, despair, pain, etc. the more you are pouring that negative energetic back into the mix, which will only prolong and deepen the uncomfortableness of what could be just set aside. Think of it like this: if you had a pair of shoes that were too tight to wear comfortably, you would just take them off and set them aside, right? You can do that with this as well. Just set it aside. Observe it as though it is a movie that you are watching. Know that you can remain connected to those who are suffering in compassion and unconditional love, without allowing yourself to get “pinged” by it. (“Put your own air mask on before assisting others” on the airplane.)

Beyond all else, keep doing your self-care. Everyday. Whether you think you need it or not. It will keep you centered and on track, but the spiritual and energy work that you do on yourself not only helps you but those around you, not just because you don't get pinged and then don't take your fear or despair out on others, but also (and most importantly) because any effort you make in this area, adds to the Flow of Energy for others so that it is that much easier for those around you to take care of themselves, stay grounded and centered, remain focused on Grace, Unconditional Love, Compassion, Forgiveness and Altruism.

We are all One...we just need to start acting like it!


Namaste'

© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved.



To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q
Karlta Zarley - June Newsletter
Volume 16; Number 6
June 30, 2019


HERE COMES THE SUN (SOLAR ECLIPSE) AND THE MOON (NEW MOON)!

Dear Ones—In just a couple of days we will have a new moon and a total eclipse of the sun. What a powerful time! So how can we better use this time to catapult our individual efforts forward synergistically?

Over the last few months we have spoken to you, and indeed all of society has been learning about going through everything to decide what is serving them and what no longer is serving. That process will continue, but even at this point it is time to sit down and think carefully about what you have learned, what you have decided is working for you, and what you would like to draw towards you in terms of your life, your relationships and your mission. We urge you to dig deeply to old values that perhaps had more value than you thought when you were younger or wisdom from your elders that perhaps was discounted sometime ago. Even when societies move forward, they retain old wisdom that never fails them and in fact makes the “new society” stronger for retaining that wisdom...things like the importance of connection to people, Spirit and our own Inner Wisdom.

We urge you to take time writing briefly what it is that you would like to see more of in your life. Know that you carry those things already in your framework and field but at this time can pull it forward into the Now more easily. Use the Yang of doing, acting, creativity and proactivity (which is symbolized by the Sun), and the Yin of being, allowing, trusting and holding space (which is symbolized by the Moon) and let the dance between our own Moon and Sun work together to help you to keep that in balance and to access all those resources to create your own slice of heaven on earth.

The New Moon happens on July 2nd at 3:16 p.m. EDT with the peak of the total solar eclipse that same day at 3:22 p.m. EDT. Any time on that day, pause and focus on what you what you have written down so that you may more easily draw that towards you.


Namaste'

© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved


To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q
Karlta Zarley - May Newsletter
Volume 16; Number 4
May 9, 2019


PRE-VERBAL EVENTS AND HOW TO HEAL THEM?

Dear Ones—We want to talk to you about the nature of the preverbal experience in the overall accumulation of life lessons over the course of multiple lifetimes (whether you see those as pastlives or parallel lives is immaterial).

By using the word “preverbal” we mean a) any experience that happened in some form other than human (plant, microbe, animal, crystal, off-world being, etc.); b) from any human lifetime that occurred before you had developmentally acquired language; or c) any experience that is perceived or felt (consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously) that has yet to have words wrapped around it.

The first two of these situations are self-explanatory, but the third bears some expansion. Our experiences, no matter what age we are, happen as experiences and/or body felt sensations, whether these are positive (like bliss or unconditional love for example) or what humans would classify as negative (for example, fear, pain or confusion). It is the physical pain in the foot before you realize that you stepped on glass. It is the sensation of the heart springing out of the chest when you have that spiritual moment of bliss.

It is easier to accept our pre-verbal experiences when they are positive and pleasant, and much harder to accept and live in equanimity with the negative ones. Many of us start to analyze our experiences—we put words around them, try to understand them and overthink them. This happens when they difficult so that we “don't have to do that again;” but it also happens when they are pleasant so that we can “get more of that.” However, we don't realize that the words, the thoughts are not the same as the experience itself, and that the stories often have subtle but powerful differences that alter or change our perceptions so that they seem more or less powerful, more or less “deserved”, more or less “desirable” than they initially were, and then we follow that and it becomes our new reality until we are comparing notes with someone else who was there are realize we don't remember it the same way.

We urge you to work on being in the moment only. Register when something is happening on an experiential level (which is mindfulness) and AVOID trying to put words around it, avoid trying to share it with others (which requires words and thinking), and avoid trying to understand it. Just allow it to Be. Savor the experience itself in your heart and in your body—relive the sensations, the event, the emotions. Even if it was an unpleasant situation, make peace with it. See if you've learned anything (like “I didn't know that I register fear in that part of my body.” or “I love the way the tightness in my gut warned me not to choose that option. I should have listened.”).

As you start to address these forms of pre-verbal events, you will find that there is much less “story” that can be more harmful than the event itself. You'll find that you no longer are creating cell memory to “remember” the misery (in particular) which will only need to be healed and released later. And you'll find that your equanimity and mindfulness, not to mention unconditional love for self and forgiveness, go way up, which then impacts how you interact with the rest of the world. Now you can really move forward on your Path and move along the Ascension process.


Namaste'

© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved.



To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q
Karlta Zarley - Newsletter
Volume 16; Number 3
March 25, 2019


WHERE IS THE EYE OF THE STORM?


Dear Ones--

As we view events, situations and relationships now worldwide, it is evident that we are in the midst of hurricane like energies. Things are stirred up, threatening to our safety and emotions, unstable, dramatic and overwhelming. As in all arenas, the only thing we can control is ourselves (and even that is very hard sometimes). We want to encourage you all to think about this in terms of the Eye of the Storm. The eye of the storm is where everything is totally still, sunshine pours down through the clouds and you wouldn't believe there is a storm all around you, except that you just went through it and in a little while when the eye passes over you, you will enter the storm again.

We all have the choice to either focus on and add to either the storm, or on the Eye. As we add our energies to what is around us, that further affects those around us. Think of the child who falls down and comes to us whining but looking at our reaction to see if they are really hurt or if it only is a little bump on the road of life.

We encourage you to look at your life, your history, your modus operandi, your beliefs and actions. Think about how you add to the storm. How do you add to the calm? When are you more likely to cycle into storm-thinking? When is it easier to stay in Eye-thinking? What do you need to do to shift what you intend, think, feel and do towards more Calm? Once you do that, notice how that impacts yourself and those around you in your day-to-day living.

How do you maintain Calm? We encourage you to focus on blessings, joy and gratitude daily; listen to your own intuition and learn to trust it; live in the flow of Now and allow it to make things easier for you rather than “making things happen;” save “pushing through” for the exception (like for safety issues) rather than the rule; nurture and prioritize enough space for Stillness by scheduling unscheduled time and rest; focus on yourself in the moments you can steal away; put aside your electronic devices on a regular basis; tend your daily spiritual practice (communing with Nature, meditation, prayer, engaging in the creative process with beauty, journaling, reading, etc.); pay attention to when you slip into fear and seek to distract yourself; ask for help; look for synchronicities; actively tend your support network, etc.

Then you will see how much you really can get done, how you can live in equanimity, and reap the physical, emotional and spiritual benefits of Inner Peace. This is how we change the world!

Namaste'

© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved.


To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q
Karlta Zarley - Newsletter
Volume 16; Number 2
February 25, 2019


UNRESOLVED REGRET, REMORSE AND GUILT - OH MY!

Dear Ones--

We know that many of you are not subject to dwelling in feelings of regret, remorse or guilt, and yet we also know that many for whom this hasn't been part of their modus operandi are now having whiffs or even waves of these unsettling emotions. And then, of course, there are others for whom this is a daily experience. In this time where everything is up for review, these emotions are simply another round of things clearing, either from this lifetime or from other lifetimes, where our inner work couldn't be completed.

So what is going on? Sometimes there are lessons that we need to learn or forgiveness and release work that we need to complete. Sometimes we are picking up issues going on in those around us. Sometimes we need to look at things once more to make sure we are well and truly done with it. And sometimes, it is an old habit of guilt that we are feeling for something that we can see from a Higher Perspective that we have made peace with and Know happened in Right Timing, but we either haven't forgiven ourselves or we have the habit of guilt.

We urge you to think about what you feel guilty about. Yes, this isn't “fun” but it is part of the Work of moving towards Mastery. Basically, if it doesn't “go away on its own” then we need to look at it. We don't need to go looking for something that really is gone, but there are almost always little dribs and drabs of things we aren't finished with (rather like a closet with clothes from 10 or more years ago that we haven't worn for various reasons for years, but still don't clear out of our space or continue to hang on to).

Remember that as we see things from the Higher Perspective and really understand that it happened for a reason (even if we wish it didn't have to), holding onto guilt out of habit causes us to hold onto memories which have a ball-and-chain effect on our spiritual growth, and prevent us from moving forward. But we can choose to let go of that. Make sure you have indeed done all of the work you need to around it—learning lessons, making amends, forgiveness work of self and others, and then choose to really and truly let it go. Sometimes it is as easy as snapping your fingers, but sometimes it is a daily intention until it really is done. Either way, it is well worth the effort. Without that choice, there is no opportunity for you to finish unwinding the past, which only perpetuates the old paradigm. If you aren't ready, that's fine. But if you really want to move forward to the New Paradigm, everything that holds the old one to us must be moved out, or we can't get to the new one.

This is as much a part of our spiritual work as any other more obvious part (like forgiveness, etc.), but it is often overlooked. However, the more completely we can let go of things, the better. And this has the added benefit of teaching us the discipline of letting go more and more easily so that our movement along our Paths gets easier and easier over time.

Because of the nature of cosmic forces at work presently, i.e. that many (if not most) puzzle pieces are up in the air with no time-table for falling into place, and little ability to influence their falling into place, this means that it is easier for us to really look at these things while we are waiting for the moving pieces to fall into place. It also means that when things do come together, they are more likely to be in the best place, rather than the almost-best-place.

For the anxiety that this causes, we urge you to remember something else we have talked about over and over...Just because you don't know “how” something can happen, doesn't mean you can't take refuge in the idea that it “can” happen, no matter how complicated, unlikely or mysterious. That place of trusting expectation helps you to create rather than miscreate, helps you to be patient when you normally would chafe at delay, and to be more in the Now and in Flow with All Things, which is actually our Normal State of Being.

Namaste'



© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved.


To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q
Karlta Zarley - Newsletter
Volume 16; Number 1
January 23, 2019


HOW DO WE (RE)BUILD RESILIENCE?

Dear Ones—

Have you noticed that large portions of American society have lost their resilience? This isn't isolated to younger generations, those living in poverty, urban, suburban or rural areas, etc. It is across the board. This has led me to really be thinking about what makes us resilient, and how we maintain our resilience. I urge you to look at your lives and seek out places where you are no longer resilient and find ways to regain this valuable trait.

Causes: These are in no particular order and is not an exhaustive list:

1. Many of us are becoming more and more sensitive to our environs. Whether one is born somewhere on the Neurosensitive spectrum so that our 3D senses are sharper and therefore bring in almost too much information for comfort, or whether we are starting to see some of the finer points of living within a society that is still learning Kindness and Unconditional Love for ALL, we are feeling it in our physical and emotional bodies. Overall, this is a good thing! This allows us to really start to move back towards Oneness in terms of how we treat each other. (Think about things like understanding the financial slavery of college loans, or the changes regarding things like gay and transgender rights.) On the down side, in an already stressed society (with decreasing levels of one-on-one human contact and increasing expectations, demands and information overload), often the reaction is to further withdraw in an effort to protect oneself (like not paying attention to societal issues, becoming more depressed, and not asking for help or maintaining one's support network).

2. Our society has become one of increasing ease—we struggle less with the honorable pursuits of growing and storing food, building shelter and nursing those who are sick back to health, and have given more and more of those “duties” to others. Yes this creates jobs, but it further divides us from those we live closest to and often love the most.

3. The internet and certain societal pressures have made it “ok” to bully others, even as we work harder to raise awareness to eradicate it in our schools. Somehow it has become “okay” to protect our children (with varying degrees of success) but it is also somehow “okay” to bully adults, groups or other countries more. I find this bewildering.

4. We shelter our children and ourselves from struggling, from failure and from hard work (unless we are enjoying what we are doing), and no longer value things like perseverance, innovation, and a willingness to take a risk without a certain payoff. Even in the sciences, pure research is harder and harder to get funded because we demand an instant payoff, even though we know it is unreasonable and prevents us from finding truly wondrous things that we later figure out how to utilize.

5. We want instant and perfect everything—money, status, perfect jobs, families, self-satisfaction, homes respect, etc. and we have lost our ability to contemplate where we are and why we are stuck in various patterns (which is due to lack of time, which goes back to item 1 above).

6. As parents, we often want to be liked by our children more than we want to make sure that they are contributing members of society. We think that we can have it all, but that means that sometimes we aren't very good at saying “no,” making our children actually work hard for something they want, or disciplining. We give them the idea that they can have everything they want, when they want it, and we don't talk about how hard we have had to work for what we have at our own ages and stages of life...our own challenges and failures.

So how do we turn this around? Again in no particular order:

Talk to our kids about everything. “Close the loop” with words so they can see the “breadcrumb trail” of how things work. For example, it is hard to talk about what is still needs to be learned or to prepare our offspring for that time when we die. Many of us don't want to think about that even ourselves, much less make them think about it. We need to work through our own issues, be transparent about that with them, and talk about it with them—what do they feel prepared to do? What do they feel they don't know yet? (Like they are good at finding jobs, but not very good at managing money, or what our preferences are should they need to suddenly make end of life decisions for us when we can't.) Then start to teach and discuss those things. MOST IMPORTANTLY, then “close the loop” by pointing out after the discussion that it was hard to think about or learn those things, but don't you feel better, more confident, surer about yourself, etc. now? (This isn't just about this topic, but this process applies to all things.)

Allow our children to have to work for things that they will reasonably need to work for in society: a job; success; an apartment; transportation; a support network including real people not just on social media; an understanding that a society really can't function well if folks aren't working together; a willingness to give more now “so that it's there” when you yourself are in need; an understanding and ability to do self-care and how to do that more than just when you are really sick; the willingness to try and try again and think outside the box and take risks so that one may succeed, even if it is in ways that were previously not appreciated or even seen as possible.What does that all look like? When they seem stuck, don't tell them what to do or rescue them or make it easier. Instead, ask questions like “What part of this isn't working?” “What might make this work better?” “Do you need more of something like practice, knowledge, money, manpower or other resources? And then “How do you get those?”

You may have to have them start paying rent at home or paying some of their own bills etc. even if they don't have a job yet. This is highly motivating to get a job, and they will find out that they can do almost anything if they have to, and then improve things from there as they can. This builds self-assurance, even if it isn't fun.

Ask them if they are asking the right questions, or if they are asking any questions at all. Ask them, “How can you make this situation, this job, this relationship, this space, this idea, yourself...better? What would that look like and how would you do that?”

Support them when they fail (rather than ignore it or belittle it) and then “close the loop” by pointing out later that if they hadn't failed, they wouldn't have worked harder and then succeeded or changed course or become wiser.

Celebrate their “wins”--more self-esteem, a sense of greater personal power, pleasure at a job well done, etc.

Point out the other ways that we know we are doing well besides money—personal satisfaction (which no one can take away from us no matter what); more resilience; less negative judgment of self and others; more patience; less anxiety and fear; a more realistic understanding of themselves, others and what is reasonable in any situation.

We can do this for others, and we can do this for ourselves. As we do, we really will become great again, but without using anxiety, fear and separation as the motivation. This too is part of the path of Mastery.

Namaste'

© 2019 Karlta Zarley
All Rights Reserved.


To print this newsletter, click on the printer icon to the right.
Q